Diary #1 of a digital nomad and business owner/entrepreneur: lost identity and taking a break
Alright gang, we are trying something new! I am aiming to produce a monthly blog to review, reflect and teach. It was a suggestion that came from my monthly and quarterly reviews. But it wasn’t a suggestion from me. It was actually from one of my team members, shout out to Shannon!
Now for context, each month and quarter I send the team a recap of the month from a marketing perspective and leave this email open to the CQ team can make suggestions. I always want people in my team to be part of this business too.
And that is how this little baby was born. It is funny though because around this time it was suggested I was really keen to start writing again for fun. I thought about doing Medium articles and then I thought about pulling out my old “A Travellers Antics” blog out of the woodwork. But to be fair, the old blog lost it’s nice website skin when I stop paying for it!
But okay let’s dive into what I want to share today. But as you can see below it is about my identity crisis, my time away from the business and just a general chit chat!
So, shall we see what the hell I can come up with?
The identity crisis that made me want to burn it all down
Sounds a bit dramatic, I am aware of that. But honestly, that is how it felt. I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Where I wanted my business to go and what it even looked like.
That is why I guess they say 3 in 4 Australian businesses fail in the first five years. It isn’t easy.
I think it really started to crumble a bit when I was living in Sydney. I was in an Airbnb on my own. This shoe box of an Airbnb cost me about $3.5k for 7 weeks… I know. It was crazy. Because I lived in a place that didn’t inspire me, in an area of Sydney that didn’t feel like home at the time, I was a bit stuck. I spent a lot of my night working.
When they called the lockdown in Sydney, I headed back to Victoria, back home. I was always planning on going for at least a month and if you follow me on Instagram, you know it has been about 4 months as I write this.
Returning home meant a 14 day isolation. Which I loved at the start. Come day 10, it became a bit of a nightmare if I am honest. So the start to my time at home wasn’t amazing. It kind of went downhill from that moment. It was lockdown after lockdown.
When the lockdowns ended, it was really only a few weeks before we were back in. I struggled to keep up with my workload and I was burning out, fast.
But what I felt I was doing was, comparing. Comparing old pre major surgery Mariah to post operation Mariah to now. I was feeling guilty for a lot. I would listen to what people said I should do and didn’t listen to what I wanted to do!
This is what I reflected on social media:
“I have been struggling with my identity
Since my operation it has been really hard to work out who I am, because my life has changed a lot.
I don't do a lot of the things I use to do. Drink alcohol, be part of the 5am club, gym a lot, do 1000 things at once.
I do miss parts of it.
Those things don't make up my identity, I know. But it made up a life I had. I am a nostalgic person, so of course I am mourning the person I was.
It wasn't until I recently that I realised. I am still the same person.
I am still the same person. I am still Mariah who will have a conversation with anyone who will listen. I am still Mariah who loves a to do list and could work for hours.
I love breaks away from business. I loved having time off last week. But the reality is, I love working. I love achieving things off my to-do list. I don't want to feel guilty for that, but I did.
So yeah, I have been in a strange place for the last 6 months trying to work out what this next chapter of my life is. But, the truth is, I have always known it.
I didn't have to change dramatically. I just needed to listen to what I needed in each moment. There were times I needed to rest more, there were times I needed to do more.
But, if I didn't go through these challenges, I wouldn't have gotten to this point.
You know, the character building stuff!”
It was in these moment so struggle that I turned back to my WHY. Why I started this business, what is important to me and what I love. The words that come from this. Connection. Travel. Storytelling. Writing. That is what I want to do. Now when I feel stuck, I make choices based of these things.
It is the soul searching type stuff.
The power of stepping away
Within this journey of losing identity and business vision, I went away for a week. Took some time off the business and I can say, it changed my perspective BIG time.
I framed it in an Instagram post like this:
“Take a break to re-calibrate our life...
That is exactly what I did. Set off for a week in two locations that are very different from one another.
Mallacoota and Bright. City and Mountains. Both located in Victoria, Australia.
What I loved about this was. I did nothing. Spent days laying by the river in Bright or admiring the ocean in Mallacoota.
I didn't realise how much I needed it until I went. The last break I had was a month stint in hospital and it was anything but relaxing. From there I went back to work and carried on life as usual.
It was anything but usual.
This break was a reminder and a lesson in one.
Don't forget to give yourself a break. No matter what you do.
It made me realise the processes I need to have in place to have time off. It reminded me just how important having a team is in business (no matter how big or small you are).”
Sometimes all you need to do is step away.
General lessons in the last month
As I reflect on the last month, there was a lot I have really taken in and if I am honest, the words of surrender and “it will pass” were transformative. The ability to trust. It has all changed the game for me and I have never felt so aligned.
What I found in the last month was the power of knowing and owning my strengths. If you haven’t heard of CliftonStrengths I HIGHLY recommend you check out the amazing Anne Koopmann who helps you with a strengths assessment and then coaches you through the process. It was extremely transformative for me. My top 5 strengths are featured below:
The next thing I really did learn is the type of coaching I want for myself and my business. I have done a wide range of coaching and it was the holistic approach with Essential Shift and Laetitia Andrac that really gave me the transformation I needed! Not only does holistic coaching help with your business, but your life as well! It honestly is my favourite way to be coached for my business!
“You can’t be perfect for everyone”. Now this might seem like a pretty standard thing to say. But how many times have you gotten disheartened because someone doesn’t choose you and your business? Or when it just doesn’t work out with someone. My hand is up VERY high. But I remind myself of this when it doesn’t work out. It only took someone to ask me if I felt I needed to be perfect to everyone, to realise this! So I am asking you now!
All I can say is read the post above to really get the concept of knowing your purpose and why around your content!
Them Google Analytics don’t lie!! Understanding what platforms to use in your business is SO key! This is why we are blogging more. Why we started on Pinterest and why I cut back content on my personal Instagram page! Because we know what channels generate more traffic to our website!
Did you love reading this blog? Want more? Well, follow me on Instagram and also, join the email list! I pop in weekly with little stories, tips and offers exclusive to those precious email subscribers! Chitty chat next month!
Mariah xx